Nathan Arnold - Web developer

Posted on August 20th, 2019


Caroline: I used to feel parent guilt all the time and then realised it wasn’t helpful for me or my kids!

Claire:  I only ever feel guilt as I feel should feel it, rather than because I actually do… Slightly bizarre!

Clementine: I feel like I shouldn’t feel guilty! But can never seem to shake it! It’s guilt for not being there- missing assemblies etc! Then guilt if I’m not at work as I have responsibilities there too! Double edged sword!

Helen: I chose not to feel guilt, it’s just a waste of time. The only occasional time I feel bad is when I know one of the children is a bit grotty and could really do with a day off at home, but I have to go in for a big meeting

Sonja: I feel less guilt as my partner is at home with the children, so they have at least 1 parent there

Prakriti: I feel guilty occasionally when I miss a match or a recital. I feel more guilt when I get it wrong, like sending the kids in with full uniform on mufti day! But on the whole, because I have an excellent childcare support system in place, I don’t feel guilt for not being there.

Cassie: Others try to make my feel guilty- the amount of comments I get from people is unbelievable, so I choose to ignore those comments

Anna: Choose the activities you will attend and don’t expect you can attend all, it’s that kind of stuff that feeds guilt.

Hannah: I feel guilty if I get to the end of the day and it doesn’t feel like I’ve achieved much, or if what I’ve done that day hadn’t added any value.  So, I need to look across a longer period, not just day by day

Tracy: I never missed out on anything or felt guilt as I was in charge of my diary and had good self-boundaries.

Tata: I try to remind myself that I’m trying to secure her future, education and make sure she has easier life than I had. I overcompensate on weekends we do loads on “mummy and daughter days.” 

Lisa:  I don’t apologise or belittle my career, especially in front of my daughter, and that made a difference.

Felicity: I feel guilty in terms of school holiday cover, I wish I had more time off for school holidays and want to find a way to solve for the future

Carrie: I definitely feel mum guilt on occasion but I think it is an artificially enforced guilt due to societal norms and judgements made on how the family should be ‘set up.’  I’ve worked out that it’s not about how much time you spend with the children, but about the quality of the time you do spend. So (I try) to make sure that on weekends I have a spot of dedicated kid time, mum and son dates for instance

Katy: I don’t really feel it. I know I need to work for our income and also my mental health. It makes me a better parent and I think sets a good example to both my children of what they can achieve whilst also being a parent.

Cara: I’ve learnt that guilt serves no purpose, for you or your kids.

Tracy: Work keeps me sane and makes me a better parent.

Nicola: I don’t feel guilt for working. I like working, it’s part of my identity as a whole.

Helen: I think it’s good for children to see their parents go out to work. It’s just important to strike a balance too so they feel like a priority too.

RESOURCES


August 20th, 2019

How to survive working parent guilt

August 20th, 2019

What I’d tell my younger self

July 22nd, 2019

Returning to work life hacks



WANT TO HEAR MORE?


 Join the community